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[ Watch The Birdie III, The Feathery Thing Strikes Back (Page 19) ] NFC Wild Card Round - Arizona Cardinals (10-6) @ Green Bay Packers (9-7) So. To the Packers, then. "To the Packers!" I can't believe you thought you'd get away with that joke again. A whole season off and that's the best you can come up with? Beyond feeble. "The old ones are the best." Are they bollocks. "If you're going to be like that I'm not going to tell you what I've found out from scouting Green Bay." What's the point? You're just going to tell me that they do absolutely everything better than we do, that we're boned and that we're going to get massacred. "You don't know that." You will, though, won't you? "I might not." But you will. "Ah, but I might not..." Oh, God. Come on, then, let's bloody well get this over with. Bracing myself for the absolutely inevitable reply... What do you make of Green Bay then, Mystery Bloke? "They do absolutely everything better than you. You're boned. You're going to get massacred." Why do I even bother? "Nah, only joking. They only do most things better than you. Ahman Green is a bona-fide elite back with power and pace, Brett Favre is still probably the best pure passer in the NFL and they're both being protected by an honestly excellent offensive line. On the defensive side of the ball, they've got the happy combination of an outstanding pass-rush and excellent secondary." Um... when are you planning on getting to the bits they don't do better than us? "Patience, young Jedi. Donald Driver is out for this game, but even without him Green Bay just have a ton of speed at wideout. But, with the possible exception of Javon Walker, all of them are better at getting into position to make catches than they are at actually bringing the ball in. Bottom line - you'll probably give up a few big plays, but their passing threat won't be very reliable. And if your defensive backs can get in the wide receivers' faces and knock them about a bit, the whole receiving corps is likely to get distinctly gun-shy." Getting to hit their wideouts rather depends on us being able to catch the sods in the first place, though, doesn't it? "Well, no plan's perfect. The rest of the good news is their linebacker corps - Nick Barnett's an excellent prospect but isn't quite there yet, and the two outside 'backers aren't any great shakes. You might want to try and find a way of getting the ball to your tight-ends and runners coming out of the backfield." And the part about us being boned and about to get massacred? "No, I wasn't joking about those bits." Colour me not surprised. - 80-14. Eighty points to fourteen. Quatre-vingt - quatorze. Four-score plays a baker's dozen plus any number divided by itself. No matter how you say it, that scoreline is a trousering even by the high standards the Arizona Cardinals have set over the years. And here we are a year later -and it is "we", as well, with the Cardinals starting no less than eighteen of the twenty-two players who started that fateful game at Sun Devil - looking to gain some measure of revenge for the largest margin of defeat in modern helmetball history on the fourth-biggest of big stages - in the Wildcard round of the playoffs. Is there any place you'd rather be than right here, right now? Other than indoors out of the cold with your feet up, obviously. 15 degrees at Lambeau, which is a teeny-tiny bit of a culture-shock for players more used to basking in the Tempe sun. There's a nasty moment when we have to patiently explain to DT Wendell Bryant who, bless his heart, isn't the sharpest tool in the box, that the "smoke" coming out of his mouth doesn't actually mean that his tummy is on fire, but eventually we get everyone settled down and it's game on. Out to the middle in front of a noisy sellout crowd trot Jeff Blake, Marcel Shipp and Ronald McKinnon, we win the toss and will have the benefit of the wind in the 2nd and 4th quarters, while Green Bay elect to receive the kick to start the game. Two ominous-looking runs by Ahman Green get them a first down, but we stick doggedly to the cover-2 scheme that we were too quick to abandon in the regular season. And we reap the rewards when Green Bay send two men deep on the strong-side, leaving safety Dexter Jackson unsure as to which he should cover. In the end he stays home to watch Bubba Franks, which leaves Robert Ferguson wide open down the sideline. Favre gets the ball there and no-one gets close all the way home. Arse. ARI 0-7 GB We come out swinging, though. With the world and its wife expecting a run on first down, we go play-action and Jeff fires the pass into Shaun McDonald over the middle for a 23-yard pickup. Anquan beats press-coverage for 19 more, but two incomplete passes and we're suddenly looking at a 3rd and 10 at the Packer 30. Out we come in the I-form, and the ball is handed off to Marcel Shipp on the sweep, just looking to get a few yards to make the figgie easier. The Green Bay defence swarms in to shut the big back down... and Marcel pulls up, looks downfield, draws back his arm and hurls the ball downfield to an open Anquan Boldin - fifteen yards, first down and we've announced loud and clear that the gloves are off today.
The normal dire threats handed out to defensive personnel has the desired effect, and we put Green Bay three-and-out after they try to have Ahman Green run an ill-advised sweep on 3rd and 2 and have him sandwiched between Jed Bowden and Ronald McKinnon. We set up to go straight back to the deep passing that worked so well on the first drive, and sure enough get Anquan Boldin in single-coverage down the left sideline. Jeff rolls out away from trouble, sets up to fire...
...and gets clobbered in mid-throw by Gwhateverhisnameis-Bjamilla. The ball fires crazily up into the air, hitting the turf a clear ten yards behind Blake, Hannibal Navies scoops it up on the bounce and trots into the endzone for a frankly ludicrous touchdown. Remind me again why we didn't try to go deep too much on the Packers last time out? ARI 7-14 GB Never mind, never mind. Plenty of time to play yet. Loads of time for Jeff to do something like firing a pin-point pass into Johnno, for Al Harris to come in with a half-arsed arm-tackle that Johnno can break through and burst clear for a 74-yard quick-strike score. You know. Picking an example out of the air. End of 1, ARI 14-14 GB - As predicted by the ever-irritating Mystery Bloke, it's feast or famine for the Green Bay offence - stuffed at the line, 11 yards, a 2-yard loss, 12 yards, a pass Jed Bowden gets both hands to and really should have picked off, 20 yards... they're about as smooth and fluent as a three-legged dog going down a set of spiral stairs. But oh, what's this? A first down to Bubba Franks, and rookie corner Bowden is getting up gingerly, feeling his shoulder. He'll come out for at least a couple of plays, and that means... yep, you've guessed it, folk-hero David "No-Mark" Barrett comes in to replace him as the starting left cornerback. Brett Favre's plainly heard stories about No-Mark and wants no part of our resident interception machine, going instead to the other side of the field, firing the ball into Robert Ferguson on a quick-slant. The pass is perfect, leading the receiver away from the coverage and into the open field... so quite why Ferguson is looking backwards as the ball sails merrily past him is a bit of a mystery.
Tay Cody doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth, makes the interception and returns it back out to our 32. We calm things down with three straight carries by Marcel that net 16 yards, then try an ill-advised play-pass to Freddie Jones that Blake is incredibly lucky not to get picked off when he somehow fails to notice an enormous bloke wearing bright yellow who's standing between him and the tight-end. Prat. Luckily, as so often this year, his receivers get him out of trouble. A short dump-off under pressure to Anquan Boldin turns into a 49-yard gain as Boldin spins away from a tackler, beats another with a beautiful angle of running and is only just caught by a desperately scrambling safety before he reaches the goal-line - First down inside the 5, and even with his recent struggles, that's still Shippland. ARI 21-14 GB The lead, however, lasts exactly two plays before Javon Walker gets free between our safeties who decide that it would just be rude to tackle him with all these people watching who want the guy to score. 57 yards, and it's starting to look like the bloody OK Corral down there. The only niggling worry at the back of my mind is that if this comes down to Brett Favre vs. Jeff Blake, the Packers have come to the shootout armed with a howitzer while we're packing a straw and some chewed-up bits of paper... ARI 21-21 GB
The next drive sees us get carried away with the success we've had passing deep, and try for a sneaky blockbuster play on 3rd and inches that, predictably, sees Jeff Blake sacked. The punt from halfway bounces at the three, but luck isn't on our side and the ball bounds through the endzone. Packer ball at their 20, 2:17 in the half, Favre at the helm. Is there anyone in the entire world who doesn't think they're going to score on this drive? Five plays, five completions, 78 yards, making an absolute mockery of our secondary. But on 1st and goal from the 2, Ahman Green takes the handoff and meets our entire defence coming the other way, and we follow that up with a sack by forgotten man LE Frank Wakefield on 2nd and Adrian Wilson swatting the ball down on 3rd, and with the point-blank trey we end an absolutely wild half of football a not-the-best-news-but-God-knows-it-could-have-been-worse three points in the red - ARI 21-24 GB - "No mistakes!" is the mantra at half-time. Both offences have the upper hand, so this will likely shake down to which team can avoid turnovers and not give away opportunities to score. At least we're still in it at the break, which is more than we managed the last time we played. All we need to do is keep this thing close, and we've a very real chance of sneaking in at the death and becoming only the second team in history to win a playoff game in Green Bay. Yeah, I know. Who am I kidding? Still, we get the ball to start the half, and it's back to the "Faint Heart Never Won Fair Divisional Playoff Berth" philosophy that worked so well over the first two quarters - 11 to fullback James Hodgins out of the backfield, then Anquan does a beautiful job losing his man on a deep post and snags a perfectly-flighted pass for another 22. We come out in a shotgun-3-wide set, intending to run Shipp on the draw but coming to the line of scrimmage Jeff Blake sees the Packers have set up in their base 4-3 and so audibles into a pass - Shaun McDonald is absolutely uncovered on a five-yard out from the slot, secures the catch then turns upfield, picks up a terrific block from Johnno that gives Macca a couple of yards of space to weave through tacklers 34 yards all the way to the endzone. That'll teach them to respect our spread-formation a bit more, methinks. I frickin' love it when a plan comes together. ARI 28-24 GB
An exchange of sliced punts sees the Packers starting their next drive around halfway. Christ. Pressure on Favre has been intermittent so far this evening, but on first down Wendell Bryant leads a jailbreak up the gut toward #4, who decides to display the discretionary aspects of valour and gets the ball out of there in an all-fired hurry. Unfortunately for the Green Bay faithful, Favre seems to have developed a Jeff Blake-style linebacker-shaped blind-spot, and Raynoch Thompson breaks on the ball from his short zone, nips in front of Javon Walker and unfussily picks the pass off, taking it back to the 39. 1 play later it's 2nd and 6 at the 35, and once again we come out in a 3-wide shotgun set, once again looking for the halfback draw. Once again, the Packers stubbornly stay in their base defence. Once again, Jeff audibles out of the run and into a pass. Once again, we get the coverage we're looking for - Anquan Boldin this time, in single-coverage on a streak down the left sideline. Blake gets all the time he needs and fires a beauty of a rainbow-pass that flies thirty-five yards in the air before dropping perfectly over Boldin's inside shoulder for six. And it's suddenly gone very, very quiet in Lambeau Field. 5 minutes left in the third, ARI 35-24 GB To their credit, Green Bay don't panic, they don't come over all Mike Martz and start chucking the ball around left, right and centre - they realise there's lots of football still to play today and just march steadily down the field, the yards all coming on the ground or off play-action. On a 3rd and 2 at the 29, I get a creeping feeling of doom even as we're stacking up in a 4-6 and, sure enough, the handoff goes to Green who shrugs off a tackle, finds a little crease and is through it like a ferret up a drainpipe. Of course, because we've packed the line, once he's through the first layer there's no help at all to stop him going all the way home. Why do I even call that bloody 4-6? It's the same every sodding time. When will I learn? Sigh. They're right back in this. ARI 35-31 GB
Caught in another third and short situation on the ensuing drive, we prove that learning from experience is for limp-wristed nancy-boys and go for it all once again. This time, however, the blitz leaves Freddie Jones uncovered on an out-and-up and the big tight end rumbles for 39 yards before the defence can bring him down by committee. The big play turns into a mid-range three-pointer and with just nine minutes left in the game our lead is stretched back to a touchdown - ARI 38-31 GB - Want to bet that lead lasts more than about two minutes? Hah. You lose. Robert Ferguson finds the seam between the zones of corner and safety and races all the way to the 3 before Adrian Wilson gets back to knock him out of bounds. Ahman Green does the honours from there, seven minutes to play, ARI 38-38 GB We successfully add to the pressure on ourselves by going three and out, Blake sacked on a 3rd and 5. The punt's a beaut, though, and Green Bay are forced to start their drive from their own 20. Not that field-position has bothered them this entire second half... 4 minutes left to play. Ahman Green gets the Packers halfway to a first down, then on second Favre fakes the hand-off and straightens up with all the time in the world to scan the field. He spies the speedy Javon Walker single-covered, with half a step on rookie corner Jed Bowden on a fly - Favre winds up, and lets the bomb go. Into the wind. The pass holds up in the air - not much, just a hair, just enough for the ball to drop half a step behind Walker rather than a step ahead of him. Just enough to allow Bowden a chance to make a play on the ball. Just enough to let the kid extend out and pluck it out of the air inches from the receiver's hands...
Bowden turns back upfield in time to see Adrian Wilson flying in from his right to throw a devestating block on Bubba Franks that clears the rookie's path to the sideline. Bowden beats fullback Nick Luchey around the corner and then there's absolutely nothing between him and the endzone. Who does he think he is, No-Mark Barrett? Our secondary has re-discovered its knack for forcing turnovers just when we needed it most, and with 3:30 left we're back in front - ARI 45-38 GB That's way too much time to give Brett Favre, though. We think we've got them stopped at 3rd and 16, but Favre's erratic receiving corps wakes up for a play and Robert Ferguson drags in a rifled pass for 21 yards. A stuffed run and a couple of incompletions later, though, and the Packers are staring down the barrel of a 4th and 7 at their own 41, 2:20 left to play. Only one option here. They have to go for it. You'd have to be Dennis Eriksson to bottle out in this position. Or Mike Sherman, as it turns out. Unbelievably, Green Bay come out in a punt formation. I'm so sure that it's going to be a fake that I send out my normal defence in a dime package, but sure enough it's a straightforward punt away that Dexter Jackson scrambles back to fair catch at our own 23. Errrr... with just over two minutes to play you're seven points down at home against a team on whom you've already run up more than four hundred yards of total offence. This is the playoffs. There IS no next week. Why are you punting? WHY ARE YOU PUNTING? Marcel does a nice job, grinding out one first down to shave off all three of the Green Bay timeouts. He can't quite get a second to close the game off, but he's ground the clock and following out punt the Packers will have to go eighty yards in less than a minute to tie this puppy up. You could cut the atmosphere with a spoon. Favre comes out firing, two completions to Bubba Franks that force us to burn a timeout to stop the ball being snapped on the hurry-up with end Larry Dickerson about four miles offside. Ack. And all of a sudden, the Packer wideouts have suddenly decided that yes, they can hang on to the ball and the stretch of real-estate that we have to stop them in is getting shorter and shorter. Veteran Reggie Swinton hangs on to a tough one over the middle for 20 yards, Favre hurries to the line and spikes the ball and with 19 seconds on the clock Green Bay are camped at our 18. Criminy. Swinton on the out, 14 yards but before he can turn upfield or get to the sideline he's snagged by Adrian Wilson. The clock's running, the Pack have to hurry to the line and Favre manages to stop the clock again with just two ticks remaining. Super-criminy. Here we go, then. One play. Neck or nothing. Ball at our 5-yard line. The Pack come out three-wide, we send in our dime package - we'll rush four and drop seven and hope that the overlapping zones will confuse Favre enough to force him into an errant throw. A strange hush falls across the seventy-two and a half thousand people crammed into Lambeau Field as we come to the line... The ball's snapped. Favre looks left but sees nothing, Levar Fisher lurking in his passing-lane, the gap too tight for even him to consider forcing the pass. Ronald McKinnon is tight on Bubba Franks, no help there. But on the right he has Javon Walker whose short hook seems to have taken Jed Bowden just a couple of steps out of position... Favre lets it go, flat and hard, hissing through the frigid air like a cannon-shell. Bowden's scrabbling back into the play, but the pass has just too much on it, there's no way he'll get there to cut it off. It's all down to Walker now, and he wants to catch this because if he doesn't he's likely to end up with a football-shaped hole in his chest. His hands come up, the ball smacks into them and.... ...and he's got it. He's got it. The crowd start to rise to their feet, a roar building... But only for a split-second. The instant Walker makes the catch Jed Bowden smashes into him from the side, lifting the receiver off his feet. Up he goes, and down he comes, crashing into the half-frozen Lambeau turf... ...and the ball comes down two full yards away. No catch! NO CATCH! And the crowd's noise dies as quickly as it began as we've only gone and bloody WON this! Jeff Blake is the official player of the game with 13/15 for 323 yards and 4 scores, but personally I'd have given it to rookie CB Jed Bowden for the two defensive plays that put the lid on the game in the 4th quarter. Washington next week, then. Final score ARI 45-38 GB. [
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